the journey here.

In one month, my family is leaving for an adventure around the world, and I have no idea how the journey will unfold. But I know the path it’s taken us to get here, which gives me a hopeful expectancy for what’s to come.

Hindsight is such an interesting perspective, isn’t it? When you can look back at your own story and begin to understand why things happened the way they did. Or even if there’s no clear explanation, in looking back you can see how a person or experience has shaped and changed you into who you are now. Our story is unfolding just that way, and as I’m packing our bags for the future with plane tickets in hand, I find myself spending a tremendous amount of time looking back at all the small leadings that brought us here.

I used to think everyone would want to live around the world if they could. That is, until I met a whole lot of people who don’t. It felt selfish to travel half way around the globe, because I assumed everyone else wanted that, too. But as it turns out, what is at the top of my wish list is near the bottom of many, which is strangely encouraging. I’m learning to embrace all the ways God has wired me differently, while also studying up on how to find all the cheapest plane tickets.

For Scott and I, we’ve also wrestled with the idea of ministry and what that means for our family. Having both done a DTS through YWAM (Discipleship Training School through Youth With A Mission – a lot of acronyms, I know), we found purpose and passion like we’d never experienced before, so that was our first pursuit. As newlyweds, we made plans to move to the mountains and work alongside some of the most inspirational people we’d ever met. Then came a new baby. And a new business. And Lincoln suddenly became our home base.

For two years, I wrestled with the idea of being just a stay at home mom. I longed to be like the YWAM families I knew traveling the world together, but instead my biggest adventures consisted of raising a toddler and teaching group fitness classes at the YMCA. Two years can feel like such a flash in hindsight, but it was a slow, painful and crucial process in learning contentment and purpose right where I was – even in Lincoln, Nebraska.

I remember the moment I finally let go of all that frustration and let my heart settle into contentment – then God opened a door. Isn’t it funny how he works that way? He knew what I wanted even more than I did, but was just waiting for me to unclench my fists to receive it. That summer our family traveled on our first adventure together overseas, with two-year old Jonah and six-month old Teagan, carrying the cutest little passports you’ve ever seen. We worked alongside a local church in Stockholm, Sweden – a city that was never on our radar – and came home with a new Swedish family; one we never knew how much we needed.

It was the day after we flew home, hearts full and heads jetlagged, we knew it was time to switch gears. Our passion to serve was undeniable, and that month Scott told his business partner he was done and enrolled in university to finish his degree.

And another three years went by.

Three more years of full-time work, full-time school, and two tiny babes depending on us. Such a long three-year process to walk through, yet such a short window to reflect back on now. Three years of pursuing a ministry degree to be qualified to serve and to lead. And when graduation came, we had a list of all the areas of ministry that weren’t the right fit for Scott or our family. Which was a hard (and expensive) pill to swallow.

That was over a year ago now, and we found ourselves asking, “God, what are you doing?” Scott has been working for an upstanding local company, but still it drained the life out of him. All of the things he is best at were none of the things required of him, and I saw the light fading out of him. He was burned out, exhausted, and going through the motions without any real impact or purpose. We lost sight of what direction to take, and for the health of our entire family, I knew we needed to make a change. It was then I drew the line, and started making calls.

& in January we will get on a plane (well, 4 planes) to take us to our new home in Bang Sak, Thailand. & as much as I want to say, “then the adventure begins!” that’s just not true at all. Because the adventure started a long time ago. Riding the highs and lows of raising babies and owning a home and being here for family when they needed us most. Our adventure is not something we’re about to take, it’s something we’re in. It’s an ongoing journey with all its curves in the road, & I can see up ahead a new trail that I am so excited to take – – and I have no idea where we’ll come out on the other side.